Goodbye 2019, it’s been a real learning experience!

This past year has been a legit roller coaster, with a lot of twists and turns, plus some high points. Into the start of 2019, I was 40 pounds heavier, was growing distant from my family, had a job that paid the bills but didn’t fulfill me, and was struggling to move on from a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.

My life wasn’t where I wanted it to be and I felt doubtful. Doubtful of my career, my future, my finances, my relationships. All of it seemed like one big pile of negativity but then I took the first step. Everyone always noticed how “positive” I was, even when I knew I wasn’t but no one had to know how depressed I was. I made the decision to be happy, truly happy. I started going to the gym and began to lose the weight that made me cringe every time I tried on clothes. I went back to eating healthier and started packing lunch. I really started to think about my future and what I wanted for myself and that helped me end a toxic relationship. It was the most difficult step of all but it set me free in a way that I couldn’t believe.

I started creating friendships, something that I had always longed for but never made the time for. When I was struggling Nicole was there. There were so many nights that I just wanted to cave and fall apart but she was always just a phone call away, ready to snap me back to reality. When I didn’t want to go home she’d let me sleep at her place and we’d fall asleep to a show on Netflix, but she’d always fall asleep first. We’d cook meals together, go window shopping, and just enjoy being there for each other. I’d say we both grew a lot during those few months and I am so happy to have a friend like her.

I began to rely more on my parents, who I knew loved me but I was afraid to show them how fragile I was. I didn’t want to be a burden but no matter what was going on they always wrapped me up in so much love it was overwhelming. My mom was “stern” and gave me some tough love talks that always followed up with a big hug and a cute text emoji that would say things like “you got this!” or “you’re a shining star!”. Dad was quieter and would chime in just at the right time. If I needed a hug or a pep talk he was right there, sitting at the dining room table as if he knew I needed someone to talk to. My sister, who is busier than a hive of bees, somehow found time to be with me. Whether it was a phone call or a quick bite to eat she’d make time. I’m blessed to have a family. Yet, I’m even more thankful for how much love we show each other.

Towards the beginning of May, Nicole convinced me to go on Bumble. You know just to test the waters. I was at a place where my heart was at peace and a few dates wouldn’t hurt. It was around the 7th date when I met Andrew. All of my other dates were fine, I was composed and charming, had a lovely time, but it never went anywhere after that. On my date with Andrew, I did everything you shouldn’t do on a first date, like seriously, I was an open book with an emotional glossary at the front. It was, for a fact, the worst date ever and I recapped with my mom and Nicole how embarrassed I was. Yet, he called me back and after eleven wonderful dates, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had never been so giddy in my entire life! From those first few dates to now, I am so blessed to have him in my life. His empathy and kindness towards others makes me so very proud. He’s pulled me through all of my interviews and tough family crisis’ when I felt like I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. AND, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times he’s made me laugh till I cry, even when I’m sad. Let’s just say I’m blessed. Plus, can this boy cook!

Just a few weeks ago, I quit my old job and started a new one. I’m a Photo Assistant and Digital Technician at CreativeDrive. A position that actually means something to me, allows me to do what I love and pushes me to want more for myself. I work with a team of professionals who I consider my mentors. They have the biggest hearts and just want to create incredible work. It’s an inspiring place to be and I couldn’t be happier.

Now here I am. A healthy, strong-minded, and happy woman who has got a job she loves, family and friends that love her, and love for myself. It’s amazing what one step can do so for 2020 just take a little leap of faith. Have a little faith in yourself that you can make tough decisions and follow through. Your mind and the people you surround yourself with are the biggest influences in your life so don’t settle for the negative thoughts and the chummy friends. Want more for yourself and strive to be a happier version of yourself.

Goodbye 2019 and hello 2020!!!